Why the Body Doesn’t Feel Safe: Understanding Somatic Therapy and Polyvagal Theory
- Lia Skye
- Aug 18, 2025
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 25, 2025
“Trauma is not what happens to us, but what we hold inside in the absence of an empathetic witness.” – Peter Levine
In somatic therapy, we often say that the body “doesn’t feel safe.” But what do we really mean by that? It’s not just a thought in the mind. It’s a deep physiological state, shaped by the nervous system, that colours how we experience ourselves, others and the world.
Polyvagal theory gives us a map for this. It helps us understand why we can know we are safe on one level, yet still feel anxious, numb or on edge in our bodies.
What Somatic Therapy Means by “Safety”
Safety in somatic therapy isn’t about locking the doors or making sure there are no threats outside. It’s about whether your nervous system can relax enough to let you rest, connect and feel at ease.
When the body doesn’t feel safe, we may:
Struggle to rest or sleep deeply
Stay in cycles of overthinking and hypervigilance
Feel numb, disconnected or shut down
React quickly to stress, even with small triggers
This isn’t weakness or personal failure. It’s the body doing its best to protect you.
A Simple Map of Polyvagal Theory
Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges, explains how our autonomic nervous system (ANS) responds to safety and threat. There are three main states:
Ventral vagal (safe and connected): We feel calm, engaged and grounded.
Sympathetic (mobilised): The fight/flight response — we feel anxious, restless or on high alert.
Dorsal vagal (shutdown): The freeze response — we feel numb, withdrawn, sometimes despairing.
Our bodies move through these states automatically. We don’t choose them. They are survival responses wired into us.
When the Body Gets Stuck in Protection
In times of chronic stress or unresolved trauma, the nervous system can get stuck in protective modes.
Even if the mind knows, “I’m safe now,” the body may still be bracing.
You might live mostly in sympathetic activation - overworking, over-giving, constantly “on.”
Or in dorsal vagal shutdown - numb, disconnected, finding it hard to motivate or feel.
Somatic therapy helps the body catch up with the mind. It gently supports the nervous system to move out of survival responses and return to regulation.
Somatic Therapy and Nervous System Regulation
In practice, this might look like:
Tracking sensations and noticing subtle shifts in the body
Using grounding, breath or movement to signal safety to the nervous system
Learning how to widen your “window of tolerance” so emotions can move without flooding you
Practising co-regulation - experiencing safety in connection with another
The goal isn’t to get rid of protective states. They are part of being human. The aim is to build flexibility so you can move between states and return to balance with greater ease.
Why Feeling Safe in the Body Matters
When your body feels safe again, so much changes:
Rest becomes possible
Relationships feel easier and more nourishing
Creativity and play come back
Boundaries become clearer
Inner trust deepens
This is why somatic therapists talk about safety so often. It’s not just a nice idea - it’s the foundation for healing, connection and aliveness.
A Gentle Path Forward
If your body doesn’t feel safe right now, it means your nervous system is doing its best with what it has learned.
Through somatic therapy and nervous system regulation, you can begin to experience a different way of being - one where safety is not just something you think, but something you feel.
Ready to go deeper on your journey?
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